Recently, I picked up a copy of Dan Brown's newest novel The Lost Symbol (Doubleday, 2009). Although I hated Brown's last novel (the best-selling cheese festival, The Da Vinci Code), and doubted whether I even had the time to read all 509 pages of this one, I decided to give it a try. I started reading it last week, but I only made it through the second sentence. Here is why:
"The secret is how to die.
Since the beginning of time, the secret had always been how to die" (3).
That is a direct quote, folks: the first two sentences of the book.
"Since the beginning of time"...come on, Dan Brown, you're a professional novelist! You can do better than a college freshman!
Call me picky, but that's why I stopped reading the book. I couldn't get past those lame first sentences. Besides, I still need to finish the fourth Twilight novel.
Better luck next time, Mr. Brown.
(Also, just in case anyone was wondering, I didn't buy the book. I checked it out of the library using one of those handy self-check-out machine that make it possible for you to check out any book, DVD, or CD without worrying about whether or not the librarian is judging you.)
Wow. And I thought I was bad for only giving Moby Dick two pages before chucking it!
ReplyDeleteI've heard this book is interesting, but I haven't read it myself.
I must be retarded because half the time I use those machines the DVD's won't scan right and then the librarian has to come over and I get twice the judgment I would have had if I just took the cheesy dance movie to her to begin with.
ReplyDeleteDo you really worry about what the librarian thinks about what you are checking out?
ReplyDeleteHave you compared the Twilight books to the movies yet?
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ReplyDeleteWho is this audience of yours?