Blogspeak

My students often argue in their papers that the dictionary never changes. This is one of the most ridiculous fallacies out there since the dictionary changes daily. It is always a pleasure to set their minds straight on this issue.

Today I plan on introducing a few new words and phrases to the English language. Feel free to use them in your daily lives. They all have to do with the action known as "blogging." As most of you know, I hate the word blog. I think it sounds stupid. I avoid using it. If I could vote any word off of the island, "blog" would be one of the first words I would consider.

Here's the list:

blerk: (noun) a pejorative. Any blogger who uses the comment feature to compensate for his or her bad high school experience. A jerk commenter.
bligot: (noun) a bigoted blogger.
blimp: (noun) (blog + wimp) a blog wuss.
blint: (verb) (to blog + to sprint) to write a blog rapidly.
blife: (noun) a blogging wife.
blogbarrassment: (noun) a blog post that makes you feel embarrassed for the blogger.
blogarrhea: (noun) any blog post that reveals more about the blogger's personal life than you think it ought to.
blog flop: (noun) a blog post that receives zero comments.
bloggo: (noun) a typo on a blog.
bloggomaniac: (noun) a chronic misspeller.
blogyver: (noun) someone who can make a blog out of anything.
bloke: (noun) (blog + joke) a humorous post.
bloker: (noun) a humorous blogger.
bluckle: (noun) (blog + chuckle) the mirthful sound often emitted through the nose or mouth while reading a humorous blog.
brecord: (noun) (web + record) an alternative word for blog.
brecord breaker: (noun) whoever manages to bring "brecord" into the mainstream.
brogger: (noun) (brag + blogger) an arrogant blogger.
lame: (adjective) a mean-spirited comment. Also, this post.
man-blog: (noun) a blog written by a man secure enough with his masculinity to write a blog.
golb: (noun) a blog that doesn't make sense.
golber: (noun) a blogger who writes incoherent posts.
she-wolflog: (noun) a blog written by a she-wolf.
shows how much you know: (phrase) the universal no-fail come-back generally used against blerks, bligots, and broggers.
smart blaleck: (noun) any chronic poster who is not as funny as he or she thinks.
teen-wolflog: (noun) a blog written by Teen Wolf.
your face: (phrase) another universal come-back. Use cautiously, especially with ugly people and the permanently scarred.
zog: (verb) to blog while asleep.
zogger: (noun) one who blogs in his or her sleep.

Enjoy. Don't use them all in the same place.