Monday, January 21, 2008

Crap: A Tribute

Recently, I have been accused of overusing the word "crap." It's true. I use the word "crap" in conversation almost as much as the dentist uses toothpaste. I first learned the word in 1985, when I was in Kindergarten. My best friend at the time, a kid named Ricky, used it one day when he stepped in a mud puddle. I didn't know what it meant at the time, but I too stomped in the mud puddle and let the pseudo-expletive fly. Since then it has been a signature part of my vocabulary. I can proudly say that I have never had a cussing problem, but I readily admit that I have a crapping problem...wait a second...I mean...well, you get the idea.

Here are some reasons why I like the word crap:

1. Its wide grammatical range.

2. The sweet cacophony of it.

3. Its shock value in polite company.

4. Its wuss value in impolite company.

5. Its ability to make you feel PG-13 when you're really only PG.

6. It rhymes with trap and wrap.

7. The short "A" sound.

8. It's the only thing I've ever learned from a kid named Ricky.

9. It's like "cap" with an "r."

10. Some Kindergarteners pronounce it like "cwap."


  1. Only you would create such a tribute. Who was this Ricky kid?

  2. talking about shock value and wuss value makes it seem so versatile.

    I enjoyed the tribute.

  3. Sarah is a liar. She told me once how unnerving it is that you're only PG. You win some, you lose some, I suppose.

    Is "Ricky" real?

    And I think I may have a problem with you discussing your crapping problem so publicly.

    Thank you for sharing that though. I'll have him look at it.

  4. All I can say is I laughed when I read this and thought, this is truly Scott.

  5. I love the word crap. I, too, overuse it.

  6. And when your daughters begin to say it in the middle of sacrament meeting - what are you doing to do - because you won't be able to discipline them....

  7. Not sure what the crap to say about that crappy post. I mean seriously, what the crap did you think people would say about such a crappy post? I mean crap, only so much can be written about a crappy word whose only use in this crappy world is to scare the crap out of old ladies who consider "crap" a four letter word. What the crap is next, a tribute to "ain't?" That's a crappy idea...