Saturday, February 16, 2008

Pork Rinds: Deep Fried Miss Piggy

On my twenty-eighth birthday, Sarah gave me a bag of pork rinds. This may seem like an odd gift...and I would have to agree with you. Who gets pork rinds for their birthday?

For that matter, who wants pork rinds for their birthday?

Well, I do. I love pork rinds. I have loved them ever since I first tried them on a Boy Scout camping trip in 1992. There are not too many scents I enjoy more than that first awful burst of fried piggishness you get when you open up a bag of the porcine delicacy.

Unfortunately, Sarah does not share in my appreciation of the pork rind. The very thought of eating one sends her into a fit of retching. So, you see, it is a big deal when she buys them for me. One could say it is her ultimate sacrifice.

I am only allowed to eat pork rinds twice a year. The first time is usually around the time of my birthday. The second time usually falls around August, during my half-birthday. This time around, however, I have found an ally in Connor. She tried her first pork rind yesterday and has since become hooked on them. Here is how Connor generally asks for one:

Connor: Daddy, can I have a pork rind?
Me: Not right now.
Connor: Please, daddy. I'll die if I don't have a pork rind.
Me: In a little bit.
Connor: Now, daddy! I need a pork rind now! If I can't have a shriveled piece of fried pig skin deliciousness I will die!
Me:Oh no! I couldn't live with myself if I let that happen!
Connor: Please, daddy.
Me: Okay. Here you go.
Connor: Thank you.

Incidentally, some of best pork rinds I ever ate were on my mission. Brazilian pork rinds are much better than American rinds, in many ways. Often they are home made and still have tufts of hair lodged in them. I tolerated the hair, usually. If I had to choose, though, I would pick the hairless variety. Something about the hair is a little disgusting...and it takes a lot to make a pork rind disgusting.

In honor of the noble rind, I am posting for a limited time my only film containing pork rinds. Their role in the film is my tribute to their greatness.

Incidentally, this film was made in Utah in August 2004, while Sarah was back in Cincinnati visiting her family. I had the apartment to myself...and a lot of time on my hands. It is part of a six episode series I wrote over the course of three years. Enjoy.


  1. You know, I don't think I've had a rind since my last New Year's Eve at home when we had Bean Smoothies with Pork Rinds. Ahh... memories...

  2. I actually didn't read the whole thing because the word "rind" makes me want to throw up. I'm glad Connor likes them, though.

  3. so, you wrote a six episode series but is this the only video made?

    Also, I am neutral on pork rinds. i don't know if I have ever tried them.

  4. Oh Scott - the whole thing about rinds with hair on them was disturbing.....yuck! I hope you thank your sweet wife for letting you eat those things.