Saturday, July 19, 2008

10 Words I Hate (But Occasionally Use)

Here are ten words I hate, but occasionally use. Let it be known, however, that I only use a few of these words for their humorous effect.

10. Luscious: A lousy word, especially when someone uses it to describe poetry.

9. Glance: On its own, "glance" is OK. Pair it with "quickly," though, and it becomes idiotic.

8. Delicious: When used to describe food, this word is permissible. However, "delicious" becomes an abomination as soon as anyone uses it to describe a non-consumable. Music, for example, is not delicious. Pizza, in some circumstances, can be.

7. Warmly: I think this is a dumb adverb.

6. Moisture: I've spoken my piece on this word already. I still think it is a curse upon the ears.

5. Melon: I hate both the sound of the word and the taste of the fruit. Who wants to eat something with a name that mimics the sound of someone throwing up?

4. Truly: Truly one of the most overused adverbs.

3. Amazing, Awesome, or Totally: Utah and the mish turned me off to these words. Also, for the record, "awesome" translated into the Portuguese "Otimo" doesn't make it any better.

2. Utilize: This word is for people who want to keep up with the intellectual Joneses. I prefer the unassuming everyman's "use."

1. Wealth or Wealthy: I don't like the way this word makes my mouth feel when I use it.

7 comments:

  1. I'll never eat a melon without wanting to throw up now. Thanks.

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  2. I agree with some of your words but others - no. Melon is a good word and the fruit is wonderful! I agree with luscious - it' a silly word.

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  3. I almost barfed when I read the "l" word. Really, did you have to use it? You're pretty funny, silly boy.

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  4. I think I'll enjoy the word wealthy if or when I can ever use it to describe myself!!

    Here's a sentence from the hell for you:

    I glanced at the melon's luscious moisture as I warmly drooled over the truly amazing wealth of delicious juices that I was soon to utilize to totally satisfy my hunger.

    AARRRGGH! That was awful to even have to think up!!

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  5. I used awesome and totally way too much on my mission. I don't know what it is about missionaries and these words, but I'm glad to hear it wasn't my mission only. Maybe I had a double whammy since I served my mission in Utah.

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  6. And how amazing is word number two?

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